~ Personal Effectiveness ~

The study of emotional intelligence began when scientists were attempting to answer the questions: "Why do some people possess better emotional well-being than others? Why are some better able to succeed in life? Why do some who are blessed with obvious intelligence fail in life, while others with only moderate intelligence succeed?"  Their answers led them to identify the competencies associated with emotional intelligence.

These same factors are involved in our ability to form and sustain meaningful relationships, to be positive and supportive parents and friends, to form allegiances at work, to be aware of our own feelings and to make appropriate decisions based on both how we feel and what we think about a given situation.  Our level of optimism and the happiness we experience in life is also related.

So, if we are to truly craft a life that is meaningful, satisfying, and successful according to our own independent standards - to live happily and to enjoy our experiences and the company of those around us, it is critical that we develop the self-awareness and the skills that make us highly emotionally intelligent individuals.

These competencies (based on Reuven BarOn's EQi) include:

Emotional Self-Awareness: The ability to recognize and understand one’s feelings and emotions, differentiate between them, and know what caused them and why.
Benefit: Good emotional self-awareness promotes successful conflict resolution and leads to improved interaction in all relationships

Assertiveness: The ability to express feelings, beliefs, and thoughts and defend one’s rights in a nondestructive way.
Benefit: Proper assertiveness helps individuals to work more cohesively and to share ideas effectively. Good leaders have well-developed assertiveness skills.

Self-Regard: The ability to look at and understand oneself, respect and accept oneself, accepting one’s perceived positive and negative aspects as well as one’s limitations and possibilities.
Benefit: Individuals who have high self-regard have better attitudes and behaviors in both work environments and in personal situations. Better self-confidence means better performance in all aspects of life.

Self-Actualization:  The ability to realize one’s potential capacities and to strive to do that which one wants to do and enjoys doing.
Benefit: High self-actualization is connected with good motivation and striving to optimize both individual and team performance. Having noble goals and the desire and ability to work towards them brings lasting personal satisfaction.

Independence:  The ability to be self-reliant and self-directed in one’s thinking and actions and to be free of emotional dependency; these people may ask for and consider the advice of others, but they rarely depend on others to make important decisions or do things for them.
Benefit: Understanding the proper balance; for people to “think for themselves” and yet still listen to and utilize ideas from others when appropriate.

Interpersonal Relationships:  The ability to establish and maintain mutually satisfying relationships that are characterized by intimacy and by giving and receiving affection.
Benefit: Good interpersonal relations translates into effective communication within and between departments in an organization and between individuals and groups in which we interact.  This allows us to establish and maintain effective support networks professionally and personally.

Empathy:  The ability to be attentive to, to understand, and to appreciate the feelings of others…it is being able to “emotionally read” other people.
Benefit:  Understanding the challenges and demands being placed on fellow staff members creates cohesive functioning. Understanding others’ points of view will help make you a team player.  Having compassion and understanding for others in our communities and circles of friends allows up to behave in ways that nurture and support each other.

Social Responsibility:  The ability to demonstrate oneself as a cooperative, contributing, and constructive member of one’s social group.
Benefit:  Social responsibility means contributing to recognized needs and goals of our organizations and communities. It also means being aware of the greater good you and your group can contribute to society as a whole.

Problem Solving:  The ability to identify and define problems as well as to generate and implement potentially effective solutions.
Benefit: The methods used for problem solving are critical: viable alternative solutions must be considered, including a cost/benefit analysis and long-term implications.  Harnessing the power of both our emotions and our rational minds in the process of problem solving and decision making creates a high degree of effecitveness.

Reality Testing:  The ability to assess the correspondence between what is experienced (the subjective) and what in reality exists (the objective).
Benefit:  The ability to focus on optimistic practicality and not unrealistic expectations.  Being able to assess one's situation accurately and behave accordingly.

Flexibility:  The ability to adjust one’s emotions, thoughts, and behavior to changing situations and conditions.
Benefits:  Those high in flexibility perform better in circumstances where tasks are dynamic and changing. Those low in flexibility may perform better at more well defined tasks requiring reliability and consistency.  The rapidly changing environment we all experience today required a high degree of flexibility in order to be effective.

Stress Tolerance:  The ability to withstand adverse events and stressful situations without falling apart by actively and confidently coping with stress.
Benefit:  Effective stress tolerance has to do with managing reasonable workloads, establishing clear priorities, and meeting realistic deadlines.  Having the ability to cope well in the face of pressure, demands and change.

Impulse Control:  The ability to resist or delay an impulse, drive, or temptation to act.
Benefit:  the ability to avoid rash actions which can be costly, embarrassing and harmful. Mistakes can often be avoided by simply taking time to stop and think.

Happiness:  The ability to feel satisfied with one’s life, to enjoy oneself and being with others, and to have fun.
Benefit:  A positive attitude and outlook creates an atmosphere  that lifts spirits and helps overall performance.

Optimism:  The ability to look at the brighter side of life and to maintain a positive attitude, even in the face of adversity.
Benefit:  There is such a thing as self-fulfilling prophesies. When individuals believe something is possible, they will often make it happen. An optimistic attitude helps ward off stress, increases performance, maintains motivation, and increases health and wellness.